Of Gals and Ghouls

Ding, I have attained 28 years of exsistance.  All in all it was a fun party.  I was brought a very expensive bottle of 12 year old scottch and got to spend time with most of my closest friends.  One of the people I wanted most wasn’t there, but she has told me that we would hang out sooner or later.  I’m hoping that one way or another, I’ll get to see her this weekend.  We’ll see.

I wonder if I should be worried that everytime I see a romantic movie or a romantic comedy, I get angry and depressed.  Mostly angry at how stupid the whole ‘love’ thing is.  All the girls in my life all tell me the same thing, ‘don’t worry, you’ll find the one’ ‘love is a wonderful thing and it’ll happen.’  Why can’t women realize that love is a luxury that only women and a very lucky few men can afford.  Women can have their pick of men, they can choose to be with the one they really love, whether or not the love is returned.  For unattractive men like myself, we are forced to take what we can get, like ravenous ghouls fighting over scraps of the dead.  It’s not fair, but what can we do?  It does amuse me when the ladies in my life start speaking of it as if it just up and happens to everyone.  I know I have only lived 1/3 of my life, but I just can’t see myself feeling it.  The one spark that could have ignited that fire within barely notices me, and only as a friend.  I am thankful for her friendship, but sometimes it’s painful to be so close, to want to just take her in my arms and hold her, but knowing that would be frowned upon.  Oh well, life drags on.