Another Merry Christmas

Another holiday in the books.  I survived it, a little worse for wear.  I had hoped that the woman of my dreams and I might spend New Year’s together now that she’s moved back in with her folks.  No such luck.  She will be joining her boyfriend in Cleveland or someplace stupid like that (no offense Cleveland).  And to throw salt in the wounds at the news, while we were hanging out, she signed me up for a dating website.  It was hilarious, it’s almost like she knows I’m in love with her and likes to just add a punch to the scrot.

On the up and up, I bought a plant the other day.  It’s some kind of palm I think.  I’ve named it Mila, but you may call her Ms. Jovovich.  Not sure I should be taking care of a living thing, and I almost pity it.  But I guess a slow agonizing death with me isn’t much different than a slow agonizing death at Home Depot.  At least I talk to it, rather than put it in an ignored corner hoping that it would die quietly.  It was even marked down to $6.88, the poor thing.  Did I buy it out of pity?  Loneliness perhaps?  Nah, I just wanted fresh oxygen in my room, and if it could bring a touch of fragrance, that wouldn’t be too bad either.

I’m not sure what I am going to do for the new year.  I do want to get back into running.  I have let it lapse what with the holidays and the new condo and all.  I still have much to do on it, but it’s coming along.  Hopefully when I get off work tomorrow I can start putting my desk together that I just purchased.

Soon, very soon, I can reset my life, a fresh new start.  New condo, new furniture, the one I love out of the picture (in Latin America) so that I can finally move past her and be free to have feelings for someone else.  The idea of spending time to get to know someone is kinda scary and it takes a lot out of me.  All social situations take their toll.  It’s a hard mask to wear.  People don’t like to accept those who are hollow.  I’m not sure I blame them.  If someone came to me with their sob story about how no one loves them, I would probably roll my eyes and try to ignore them.  Sad isn’t it?  The people I understand most, who are most like me, I cannot sympathize with since I cannot feel sympathy.  I chuckle at the irony.  But thems the brakes.