The End of an Era.

A phase of my life is swiftly drawing to a close.  I am beginning to realize that the only hobby, my only intrest besides work is my friends.  There has been talk amonst my elite core group of friends of marriage.  First up will be my friend Johnny, in less than a year he’ll be a married man.  Not too far behind will probably be my friend Mike.  Eric and Ryan will probably hold out the longest but even they will eventually settle down.  And then, I’ll be by myself again.  I won’t know what to do with myself.  I invested alot of time and energy and money into them.  Everything I do, I do simply to hang out with them.  I can foresee myself retreating further into myself once they are gone.  Maybe I’ll pack up and just wander, see where the world takes me.  Move from city to city every few years, see if happiness is out there for me.

 That reminds me, I’m really tired of the dating scene, women just don’t find me attractive (I know you’re probably saying that after reading these posts you can see why, but please keep in mind that this is not the me that anyone ever sees, this is the private me.  I have never spoken to ANYONE about these thoughts and feelings, I keep them to myself and have decided to place them here, as a way to try and clear them out to keep me from going insane).  I went out last weekend and it was another dead end, and I thought I was rather charming, could it be they can somehow detect that I have a secret resentment for their gender?  That I have a slight loathing about how they make me feel?  I swear I do a better job of covering it.  I’m not sure I want to try anymore, I don’t think I have the energy.